Unmasking Masking: The Mask that Goes Beyond Halloween

By Bethesda Yohannes

The season of costumes and masks is here! Every Halloween, people gather to transform into someone else, whether it be a superhero, a favorite artist, or a spooky villain, the possibilities are endless. But what if I told you that for some, wearing a mask isn’t just a once-a-year tradition? Some people wear an invisible mask every day of their lives. This is known as “masking,” and for many autistic people, it’s a way to blend into a world that often expects people to act “neurotypical.”  Let’s explore what masking really means, why it happens, the toll it takes, and why unmasking is so critical for our neurodivergent folks!

According to the National Autistic Society, masking is the unconscious or conscious effort to appear “non-autistic” to blend into society. You may have also heard of masking described as “passing” or “camouflaging.” Autistic people are able to do this by analyzing and mirroring other’s behaviors. Examples include but are not limited to:

• Forcing yourself to make eye contact
• Monitoring and mirroring facial expressions
• Forcing yourself to ask questions or make “small talk” despite not being interested
• Holding back talking about your special interests due to perception that it may be unusual
• Hiding stimming behaviors
• Changing tone of voice to be less direct or less animated

You might be thinking, “Woah! That sounds like a lot of work.” And you’re right...it is! Masking is a lot of work. Imagine not only having to wear a costume, but also having to act. Autistic people are constantly having to perform to fit into society. They are putting on their mask to meet social expectations in a world that makes snap judgments. They are trying to make and maintain relationships. They are trying to increase job opportunities. Ultimately, they are trying to feel accepted by a world that doesn’t speak their language and a world that believes neurotypical language is the “right” language.

Although masking can be an effective tool for fitting into society, it often comes at a significant cost. Over time, the effort of suppressing one’s authentic self can lead to both mental and physical exhaustion. This may result in meltdowns, shutting down, self-harming, or increased suicidality. The act of constantly wearing an invisible mask can also result in a loss of identity and low self-esteem. In some cases, masking can be dangerous; by consistently pushing down personal needs and desires, individuals may become more vulnerable to manipulation or abuse. Ironically, while masking is often used to gain acceptance, it can leave a person feeling even more disconnected and isolated from others.

To help manage the impact of masking, there are a few simple strategies that can help ease these painful consequences. If you relate to this try some of the following...

1. Allow yourself time to recover after social interactions, even short breaks or quiet time can help your mind and body recharge.
2. Try using spoon theory or energy counting: Imagine your daily energy as a limited number of spoons, and be intentional about how you spend them. This helps you prioritize what really matters and helps to avoid burnout.
3. Journaling or talking with someone you trust can help you better understand your preferences and boundaries. Reflecting on where and when you feel safe to unmask allows you to show up more authentically while still protecting your energy.
4. Spending time with other autistic people can be a powerful way to ease the emotional strain caused by masking. In shared neurodivergent spaces, there's often less pressure to "fit in," allowing individuals to express themselves more freely and begin to recover from the stress, burnout, and identity confusion that masking can cause.

The mental and physical toll of masking can be overwhelming: Constantly pretending, adjusting, and hiding parts of yourself just to meet others’ expectations can lead to anxiety, burnout, and even physical exhaustion. Over time, this strain chips away at your well-being, leaving you feeling disconnected and drained. That’s why unmasking is so important. It’s not just about being honest with others, it’s about giving yourself permission to exist without constantly performing. Unmasking allows you to reclaim your energy, reduce stress, and begin healing from the pressure of always having to fit in. It’s a powerful step toward living more authentically and sustainably.

Masking. National Autistic Society . (n.d.). https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking